Mary is NOT a hindrance!

For the last few days, my spiritual reading has consisted mostly of the wonderful work by St. Louis DeMonfort, "The Secret of Mary".  I've read it several times before but each time I'm blessed with a new insight of our Blessed Mother.  This morning, I read this (emphasis mine):

No Hindrance to Our Union with God

21.  Let us not imagine, then, as some do who are misled by erroneous teachings, that Mary, being a creature, is a hindrance to our union with the Creator.  It is no longer Mary who lives, it is Jesus Christ, it is God alone who lives in her.  Her transformation into God surpasses that of St. Paul [Galations 2:20] and of the other Saints more than the heavens surpass the earth by their height.  Mary is made for God alone, and far from ever detaining a soul in herself, she casts the soul upon God and unites it with Him so much the more perfectly as the soul is more perfectly united to her.  Mary is the admirable echo of God.  When we say, "Mary," she answers, "God."  When, with St. Elizabeth, we call her "Blessed," she glorifies God.  If the falsely enlightened, whom the devil has so miserably illusioned, even in prayer, had known how to find Mary, and through her to find Jesus, and through Jesus, God the Father, they would not have had such terrible falls.  The Saints tell us that when we have once found Mary, and through Mary, Jesus, and through Jesus, God the Father, we have found all good.  He who says all, excepts nothing;  all grace and all friendship with God, all safety from God's enemies, all truth to crush falsehoods, all facility to overcome difficulties in the way of salvation, all comfort and all joy amidst the bitterness of life.

It's funny to me that most of the disagreements that come from my Protestant friends seem to stem form Mary.  She seems to be the one of the biggest stumbling blocks.  Clearly, that's how satan wants it.  Even as a cradle Catholic, I have had my issues with Marian Doctrine.  Some of it has  been because of a lack of understanding of the true teaching of the Church.  In the past, I allowed the opinions  and arguments of non Catholics and their keen ability (while not intentional..necessarily) to twist the teachings to affect my understanding.

As I come, little by little, to a more mature understanding, I've learned to turn it all over to God!  Everything I read about the Blessed Mother points to Jesus.  The Wedding at Cana clearly exemplifies this when she states, "Do whatever He tells you".  I finally came to a point where I asked God to change my heart to where He wanted it to be on this subject.  I submitted to the teachings of the Church, admitted my lack of understanding and left it there.

I have been attacked, in the past, of blindly following the teachings of the Church.  Of not being able to have my own thought or opinion....of being told what to think and believe.  On the contrary.   I believe that the Magisterium of the Church was planned and intentional by God.  In my opinion, over the centuries, the Church has already done the study, the praying, the interpretation and have come to the conclusions that they have by the aid of the Holy Spirit.  I can rely on that without a doubt.  Therefore I can say, "The Church has come to this conclusion and I submit to that."  They have already done the research and I can confidently say, "I choose to submit". 

God has gently brought me to the place where I am today and I have absolutely NO DOUBTS about where He has lead me.  I feel more confident and sure as each days passes.

Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!

Progress

The girls did make some progress in their room yesterday!  It's not exactly how I wanted it done, but I need to give them credit where credit is due.  Here are some pictures (before and after) for your viewing, ahem, pleasure!

At least you can see the floor!

That big dark stain on the carpet was grape juice!

Don't you love how they decorate?

Much better!

Much, much better!

It will be interesting to see how long it stays this way.  I'll keep you posted.

Jello Play Dough

Today is one of those days when I had to come up with something for the girls to do....fast.  They gave up on their room (see yesterday's post) for now.  I'm not going to push them.  They know the consequences of their actions.....there will be NO PLAY DATES until the job is done.  It's their choice. 

Our second vehicle is not working at the moment.  Needs a new fuel pump.  Dan and Nathan drove out to the Dodge dealership to pick up a part and so it's just the girls and I.  The weather is very hot, very muggy and very buggy.  It's no fun going outside when you just get eaten alive by mosquitoes.  So, I decided to make some jello play dough.  It's not really a big deal, just something to do while we watch Toy Story 2.

Here is the recipe I use:

1 cup white flour
1/2 cup salt
2 tbsp cream of tartar
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup warm water
1 3oz pack of jello (I had lemon)

Mix it all together in a Teflon pot.  Then, heat it while stirring until it gets clumpy.  Keep stirring until it makes a big ball.  Take off the heat and let it cool.  When it's cooled enough to touch, lay it out on a table with some flour.  Knead it until it's smooth.  Add additional coloring if you want to!  That's it!

I put mine in a Pyrex dish and spread it out...it cooled quicker!

In order to make it a brighter yellow, I added some food coloring.

Then I grabbed a bunch of plastic utensils.

Not terribly exciting, but good enough for some easy fun!

What are you doing to keep yourself busy this Saturday?

Motherhood isn't so easy!

You know, when I was a little girl, I couldn't wait to be a mom!  I just knew that my mom and dad had no idea what they were doing and if they would just do things my way, everything about our lives would be so much better!

HA!

When Nathan was born, the strangest thing happened...the nurses handed this newborn baby to Dan and I and said...here you go!  There was no instruction sheet, no "how-to" book, no manual on how to operate him.  There wasn't even any instructions on how often to feed him.  We had to learn all of this on our own.  It wasn't easy.  We've had many bumps along the road.  Nathan, because he was our first, has probably had the worst of it.  By the time Amelia and Olivia came along, we had some experience under our belt.  We knew what was ahead and knew we could handle it, well, because we had done it before.....not perfect or well....but we did have some experience under our belt.

As time as gone on, I've realized that we still don't know anything.  Each day is new and each day is a learning experience.  Still, we have tried to instill our values into our children.  No one ever told us just how hard that would be.  We are constantly working against the culture of the times.  We know that we are "in" the world but God has asked us not to be "of" the world.  I totally get that, I do!  But the question remains, HOW do we keep the world from influencing our kids? 

I believe that Dan and I are good people.  I mean, we don't steal or cheat.  We have a good faith life.  We belong to a wonderful faith community.  We work hard to provide for our kids and teach them the important things.  Our kids have been through a lot...especially our family experience with my breast cancer.  They KNOW how blessed we are to have our health, a home, food and clothing.  They go to a good school and we remind them often about our blessings and how thankful we should be.

Even with all of that, sometimes, I just don't think they get it.  They have the same entitlement attitude that is so pervasive in our society now.  They think we (Dan and I) owe them something.  Yes, it's true.  They don't want to help out around the house unless they get something in return.  They do not, for the most part, have a 'servant's heart'.  Why is this so?  On this particular subject, Dan and I have worked especially hard at instilling the virtue of charity.  We live this....especially Dan.  He is the most giving person I know.  It doesn't matter who is in need, he is right there to help.  He NEVER asks for anything in return.  I'm so sad and hurt that no matter what Dan and I try to do, they just don't get this.  With few exceptions, they start every sentence with "can I have", "will you buy", "can we do", "why can't I have". 

The clock is ticking on how much longer we will have any influence on them at all.  Nathan will be 12 in a few months.  He is not kind to his sisters and has begun to really balk at the things he is asked to do.  I would say, borderline disrespectful.  It's the same with the girls, but they are still young and I feel as though they are still teachable.  We still have influence over them and can keep steering them in the direction we want them to go.  Nathan, I think, is nearing that time when we will need to have more faith in God and his Guardian Angel and just hope for the best.

I bring all of this up to you, because I recently ordered a book that I saw on Pinterest.  It came today.

The title is, Cleaning House: A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.

Now, my goal has never been to have 3 little robotic slaves in my house.  I don't expect my kids to do my job or Dan's job.  I just want better contribution to the normal running and upkeep of our home.  I want them to be a part of this family in all aspects of family life.

Here is what I read on the back cover of this book........

"Is Your Home Out of Order?

Do your kids expect clean folded clothes to magically appear in their drawers?  Do they roll their eyes when you suggest they clean the bathroom?  By racing in to make their lives easy, have you unintentionally reinforced your children's belief that the world revolves around them?

Dismayed at the attitude of entitlement that had crept in her home, Kay Wyma got some attitude of her own.  Clean House is her account of a year-long campaign to introduce her five kids to basic life skills and the ways meaningful work can increase earned self-confidence and concern for others.

With irresistible humor and refreshing insights, Kay candidly details the ups and downs of equipping her kids for such tasks as making beds, refinishing a deck chair, and working together.  The changes that take place in her household will inspire you to launch your own campaign to dislodge your kids from the center of the universe."

I have not read this book yet so I have no idea if this is going to help me or not...I only know that I need to do something.  As I'm typing this post, the girls should be in their room cleaning.  Instead, they are making it worse.  Here is what their room looks like at the moment.....hold on to something while I show you....

This is how my girls keep their room!  It's awful.  They refuse to clean it unless I threaten them.  We usually get it done (eventually) but it only stays clean for a few hours.  When they take something off...the throw it on the ground instead of hanging it up or putting it in the hamper.

We've taken most of the toys away...what's left is basically dress up clothes, some stuffed animals and books.  Everything else is clothes.  It doesn't matter what I do, what I offer as a bribe or what I threaten them with.  It's always an argument.  Olivia is better about helping me...but Amelia...forget it.

Just now, I gave them a list of the things they needed to do in this room.  We started off easy.  Number one on the list was to pick up all the shoes and put them in the shoe bin!  That sounds easy enough...but they are in there bickering.  It's 11:47am now.  We'll see where we are in a few hours.  I've already told them there will be no play dates until it's all done.

I've been praying to St. Anne for help with this issue.  I'm just not sure how to handle it anymore.  On the one hand....it's just a room!  On the other hand, they need to learn personal responsibility and they need to learn good habits.

I've also been re-reading Judy Dudich's book, I Surrender.  I'm especially re-reading the chapters on "Surrender in Family Life" "and Surrender in My Schedule".  There is much to be gained from the experiences of others.  I'm not sure that you'll be able to gain anything from my experiences at this point, but, stranger things have happened!





Can we talk for a minute?

I'm sorry that it's been a few weeks since I've posted anything.  We've been extremely busy with family functions and illness.  Most recently, all of us (except Dan) came down with influenza "B"!  I can sum up the last 6 days in one word:  TORTURE!  Fevers, coughs, vomiting, runny noses and sleepless nights....that's what my week consisted of!  However, that's not what I wanted to whine talk with you about.

Today, my 2012 Catholic Heritage Curricula catalog came in the mail!  Dan had come home earlier in the day, so it was sitting on the kitchen counter....staring at me!  I avoided it for the first several minutes, hoping that one of the other pieces of mail would capture my attention.  There was nothing but ads and a magazine renewal.

Last year, when the catalog came, I threw it away without even looking at it.  The fact that we were NOT going to homeschool again was too new, to raw.  I just needed to focus on preparing for regular school again, keeping my focus on all of our blessings.  God had answered a very special prayer request for me...to be able to homeschool my kids for at least one year.  As disappointed as I was that we were not going to continue, I had to keep looking forward and LET IT GO!  We truly enjoyed our year at home.  It was special and I realized that I could do it, that I could be both mother and teacher to my kids!  I survived.  They survived.

This past school year was rough though.  Fifth grade was brutal!  Nathan started off doing really well and then suffered some set backs with math in the 3rd quarter.  He was able to make a positive turn toward the end, but not without some bumps and bruises.  Amelia ended up with a second grade teacher that was very anti homeschooling!  She let it be known to me several times that Amelia's reading problems this year were due to her year at home.  Amelia did not fit into the typical second grade "box" that they want everyone to fit into.  She is more of a free spirit.  Had we continued to homeschool, I would not have worried one bit about her reading level.  She would be free to move along at her own pace instead of being forced into remedial classes and countless days of "she just doesn't measure up" attitudes.  Her confidence level took a huge nose dive.  She asked me on more than one occasion, "Mom, am I dumb?"  She even asked me if she had "ADHD"!  Now, tell me, how would a second grader know what ADHD meant, unless perhaps she heard an angry, anti homeschooling teacher mention it?  They promoted her to the third grade but strongly suggested summer school!  This really left a bad taste in my mouth.

So today, when the catalog came in the mail...I opened it!  I savored it!  I read every page, of every grade!  My mouth watered at all the new material that CHC is adding to their curriculum (I just love the Battle Planner!).  I looked at all the materials from last year, and sighed (heavily) over all the things we missed.  I said a quick prayer for all of the families that will use CHC this year, for all the families that will begin their homeschooling journey, and for all that will end theirs.  I said a prayer for my family, for this upcoming school year...for their teachers, and I especially prayed for patience...FOR ME!  I confessed my pride (yet again), to God and asked for more humility.  I resigned myself to more pick up lines, more class parties, more parent/teacher conferences and more tuition.  Then, I thanked Him for the year at home that He gave me!  It was precious!

Thank you for coming to my pity party.  We'll meet again next year...when the catalog comes, and we can do this all over again!

I love you, Daddy!

Today, Flag Day, is the anniversary of the day my dad died.....30 years ago. I was 17. It's hard to believe that he's been gone 30 years. I can still remember his voice, and I can still smell his cologne.

My dad was my rock! Shortly after my parents divorced, my sister and I moved in with my dad. My mom had custody, but it was getting harder and harder to stay with her. This is where I believe my panic attacks began.

My dad was a hardworking union man...a Teamster, in fact. He worked a lot and it meant not seeing him for days on end. He would stand out in the rain and/or heat on those picket lines right along with the members that he represented. He started out as a Business Agent for Local 315 in Martinez, California. He moved up the ranks quickly. He was elected as Secretary/Treasurer with highest amount of votes ever recorded in that local. I share that with you only to show you that my dad was well liked....by everyone! He ended up the Secretary/Treasurer for Local 78 in Oakland (they have since merged with local 853), as well as the President of Joint Council 7.

I guess I don't have to tell you that my dad was a die-hard Italian. The Teamsters and our Italian heritage pretty much ran our lives. This was just how we grew up, my sister and I...we didn't know any different. We grew up with framed pictures of Jimmy Hoffa in our home....right along with all the other family photos. As well as framed letters from the likes of Rudy Tham. I guess, back then (60's & 70's) it wasn't just a job, it was way of life.

While he was liked by most, there were those that didn't like him. I can remember times when we would be ready for school in the morning and he would ask my sister and I to stay in the house until he started the car. Once the car started, and there was no explosion, we got in the car and went on to school without an hesitation.

He was very involved with my sister and I. He always made teacher conferences and was a member of the Men's Club at our Church. I remember him always being in charge of the cooking at all of our Parish celebrations.

About the time I was in high school, he began to get sick. He was a big man (overweight) and lived life to the fullest. He ate what he wanted, and did what he wanted. He hunted duck, pheasant and deer. He smoked cigars and pipes...sometimes cigarettes too. He wasn't a drinker. As a matter of fact, I never remember him ever having a drink in front of my sister or I...except in the rare case of a glass of wine. His drink of choice was Perrier with a slice of lime.

He used to stay up late at night and watch TV in the living room. I would wait until my mom went to bed and then, I sneak into his lap! Our routine was that he would go to the kitchen and grab a can of something....usually fruit cocktail or corn. He would open the can and he would take turns giving me bites. He would always save the grapes and cherries from the fruit cocktail for me! Those are precious, precious memories to me.

When he was very small, he had an illness called Scarlett Fever. From what I can gather, this scarred his heart, specifically, his aortic valve. He knew that at some point in his life, this would become an issue and he would have to deal with it. I think his hard living (weight, smoking, rich food and a very high stressed job) finally came to a head in 1979. He had his first heart surgery in Palo Alto, California at Stanford Medical Center. The surgery was performed by Dr. Shumway, a pioneer in open heart surgery at the time.

My dad did well and recovered quickly from the surgery. Unfortunately, the were a myriad of other problems that began at that time also. In the end, he had his aortic valve replaced a total of 3 times. One mechanical and 2 porcine. He was on many experimental medications and suffered with depression towards the end.

Finally, on Monday, June 14 1982, he told my step mother that he couldn't breathe. With the help of some neighbors, we were able to get him out of bed, down the stairs and into our car. My step mother and I drove him to the ER at Herrick Hospital in Berkeley. What we didn't know then was that all of his organs were beginning to shut down. He had a cardiac arrest in the ER. They tried for quite some time to revive him. They couldn't. The nurses put the two of us in this little room. It looked like some one's office. I knew he was gone. His personal physician and the ER doctor came into the room with their heads facing the floor. Dr. Kawachi (his physician and friend) was crying. My step mother became hysterical. The only thing I kept thinking was "how am I going to get us home"? I was 17 and did not have a driver's license yet. As we were leaving, Dr. Kawachi asked us if we wanted to see him. I blurted out, "NO!" This is probably the biggest regret of my life. I should have taken a few minutes and touched him, kissed him, felt his warm body one more time. I didn't, I was scared.

My panic disorder started in earnest that year. He died during finals week of my junior year of high school. It was rough.

Over these past 30 years, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. The pain is just as bad as it was then. It never goes away. I miss him so much. He is buried in California and since I now live in Florida....I have no where to go. Deep down, I know that I don't need a place to go in order to talk to him. But, to me, I knew his physical body. Only God knew his soul. I miss his physical body. I miss the hugs, the back scratches, the laughter, the look in his eyes. I miss the way he smelled and his deep protective voice. I miss how safe I felt with him. He was my daddy. He could take care of anything! He was my rock.

People always tell me that I look like him, and to tell you the truth, I do...I really do. We have the same mannerisms, we have the same body shape, the same skin. He loved the Church, even though he was away for a long time. He was proud of me, and I knew it, because he told me...often. I was "Daddy's Little Girl".

For those of you reading this that still have your dad....get down on your knees and thank God! Spend as much time as humanly possible with him. Ask questions about his childhood and early life. Write it all down so you'll never forget. Ask him his favorite color, his favorite movie and why. Make sure you know the story of how your parents met, how they courted and how their early married life was. Show him how much he matters to you. Tell him that you love him...and show him. Make sure your children are close with him too.

And then, one day, when he is no longer with you...you can look back on the time you shared and KNOW that you KNOW, that you KNOW that it was a precious GIFT from God!

Daddy, I love you so much. I miss you more today than ever. I'm so sorry that my children will never know you. I'm so sorry that my husband will never know you. I'm sorry sorry that Olivia doesn't like pasta! I know it would have killed you if you knew that! Thank you for being with me the day that Dan and I got married. I felt you. I felt your presence. I KNOW you were there. I'm so sorry you couldn't walk me down the aisle. I'm sorry that I couldn't dance with you. I know that someday, I'll get to see you again. Mom too. Thank you for being the best father in the whole world! Thank you for loving me, for taking care of me. You will NEVER, EVER be forgotten. You will ALWAYS be in my heart.

Love, Nancy.

Top 25 Homeschooling Blogs!

Circle of Moms is trying to find the Top 25 Homeschooling Blogs!  The contest on their website runs until June 27th.   Honestly, I am a regular reader to most of these blogs that are listed already and I can tell you that they are terrific!  However, there are quite a few others that I think should be added!  Click HERE and see who is on the list so far, and make sure that you click the "pending approval" tab to get a look at ALL the blogs. 

You have until the 27th to vote for your favorite blogs.  You can vote once every 24 hours!

Happy Voting!

This will blow your mind!

World Clock


Once you click on the link above, wait for it to load...then click on the circle that says "NOW!

You will NOT believe your eyes!