Spiritual Friendships

While enjoying my very first cup of coffee on this Saturday morning, I came across a wonderful blog post on the subject of Spiritual Friendships.  I've been blogging for about 5 years now.  During that time, I've made some very wonderful friends.  Some are "online" friends only, while others have become "real life" friends. 

Though rare, some have become "spiritual friends".  These are the friendships that draw you closer to Christ.  These are the people that walk right along side you. These are the friendships that challenge you to be all that God has made you to be...to go against the flow...to go against the flesh.

This blog post mentions the book, "An Introduction to the Devout Life" by St. Frances de Sales.  I happen to be reading this book right now and I just recently read the quote that the author of this blog post used...."Friendship varies according to the variety of these communications, and they vary according to the benefits interchanged; if these are vain and false, then the friendship is vain and false; if they are true, then the friendship will be true; and the more excellent those qualities exchanged, the higher will the friendship be".

Oh, how blessed I am to have spiritual friends!  They are placed in our lives by a Divine Appointment!  If you have spiritual friends, cultivate those relationships, treasure them and most of all BE a spiritual friend.

Tell me about your spiritual friends!

(H/T:  The Practicing Catholic)

Finally!

After calling the oncologists office a total of 4 times explaining that my Cat Scan was still not scheduled yet, I finally gave up and called the office manager for 21st Century Oncology!  I explained to her that my oncologist had ordered a liver cat scan for me on September 6th and that it is now September 25 and I am still here....waiting!    She was kind and understanding, but, she had no answer for me as to why it took this long.

When the official order finally came yesterday afternoon, I was able to make the appointment for 7:20am today.  I had to go to the imaging department on my way home to pick up the two bottles of Barium Sulfate (banana flavor...yuk) that I have to drink (that I am drinking right now.....) for the scan.

To say that I'm nervous, is an understatement, but I'm doing O.K.  I think it's good that they scheduled it right away, so I don't have time to sit and think about it anymore.

Family and friends have been praying for me NONSTOP through all of this and I just wanted to let you know that your prayers are working!  I must share with you 3 things that happened yesterday that confirmed for me (as if I didn't already know) that God is with me through it all!!

1.  I received a very special note in the mail yesterday....a friend sent me a card to let me know that on Monday (9/24) she spent an hour before the Blessed Sacrament for me and my intentions!  What a wonderful gift!  Last year, she lost her husband (and my dear friend) to cancer.  She KNOWS the worry and concern I feel first hand.  To have her prayers and the intercession of her husband means the world to me!

2.  Last night, Dan and I went to see Stevie Nicks in concert!  It was awesome!  However, it would not have been possible had our wonderful neighbor, Wayne, not watched the kids for us!  He is the best neighbor in the world.  He looks out for us and truly loves our kids and our animals.  As a matter of fact, when we got home, our newest cat was curled up sleeping on his lap!  Anyway, when Wayne came over yesterday, he brought me a package.....it seems that his sister and some others from our church had just came back from a trip to Lourdes and Fatima!  In the package was a large container of water from Lourdes and a miraculous medal from Fatima....all for me!  I can't even begin to tell you how this made me feel!  There was a warmth that came over me that I can only describe as the peace of Christ!  I have never felt more blessed in my entire life!

3.  When we got home from the concert last night, I noticed that the "Traveling Madonna" from our parish was on our shelf!  We usually get to keep her for one week, twice a year!  Since we sign up about one year in advance, I never remember when she is coming and so when the we get the call to come pick her up, I'm always surprised and elated!  As it turned out, we were supposed to get her this past Sunday, but the person who had her before us was delayed in calling us.  So......we got her yesterday!  Can you believe it????  The Our Lady of Fatima statue that travels from home to home in our parish showed up at our door yesterday!!!!  YESTERDAY!!

Do you think all three of these things happened by accident?  Do you think all of this was a coincident?  No, I don't either!

All I know is that others are praying, just like they said they would, and I feel it!  I really do!  I don't have any idea if this is a sign that my scan will be normal or not, but what I DO know is that no matter what, God is with me!  He reminds me all the time....if I choose to see it! 

I may be somewhat nervous about the test, and my stomach might be gurgling a bunch because of this awful stuff I'm having to drink, but I know I'm loved and I know that God is here, right with me through it all!  Thank you all so much for helping me to see that!

As soon as I know the results, I will share them!

Cancer is just pure evil!

I lost another dear friend today due to complications of breast cancer.   I'm not sure I can do this anymore.  In the last three months, I have lost three friends to this disease and another precious friend lost her father just last week.  Today is one of those days where I've become somewhat angry at God.  I don't get Him.  Why?
Patty leaves 4 beautiful young children and a loving husband.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like crawling into a hole and just going to sleep. 

Rest in peace, Patty.  I know I will see you again someday!  Say hello to Jesus for me.

I needed this!

This has been a rough week.  I had to say good bye to a dear friend.  Pete was diagnosed with lymphoma in November.  He never really responded to treatment.  There is so much I could say about Pete and how he lived his life.  He was special.  If ever there was a person that could be considered a Saint...it was Pete.  He spent his entire life showing Christ to others.  My world is a little more dim now that he is gone. 

Anyway, I came across this post tonight and it really lifted my spirit and I wanted to share it with you.

God and the Post Office

The flowers are still blooming!!

It looks like spring here in Jacksonville! We had a wonderful trip to the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens with some very special friends. The weather was perfect (about 78-80 degrees). Apparently, I took more pictures of flowers than I did of the animals...or my kids! You can visit my other blog "Widener's Wilderness" if you want to see the animal/kid photos.  I have no idea what most of these are called, I just know that they are yet more evidence of God's handiwork!!

I think these are called Lantana

Can you spot the catepillar??

I'm pretty sure these are Pineapple Ginger

Whatever this is, the butterflies love it!

This and That!

The end of the school year is always so busy!  There are library books to find and return, teacher gifts to purchase, class parties to attend!  All of this can be really time consuming and tiring!  It seems as though the kids are bouncing off the walls!  They are ready for the year to be OVER! 

My beautiful, Amelia, graduated from Kindergarten on Monday!  I don't necessarily agree with the notion of an official "Graduation" ceremony (with cap/gown & diploma), but I must admit, it was a lovely program and I was definitely a proud mama!  Her final report card was excellent and I'm very pleased with the progress she made this year!  She is reading completely on her own!  I know for a fact that I didn't read until First Grade!

Amelia on Graduation Day with Grandpa & Grandma!

Amelia and Sister Clare on Graduation Day!

Since her graduation was on Monday....she's been out of school all week!  Nathan and Olivia don't get out until Friday!  Although I have enjoyed some one on one time with Amelia this week, I wish they were all out at the same time!  This can make for a very stressful morning when one gets to stay home (and isn't sick) and the others don't.  I literally have to PUSH them out the door!

Dan and I have been working on our finances and we are making some major changes here.  For one thing, we are going to get rid of cable!  We had made the decision a few months ago...but honestly, we wanted to wait until the series finale of LOST!  Now that it's over....we are going to take the plunge.  I think we just hit another billing cycle but by next month at this time, there will be VERY LITTLE television in this house!  This will be just as hard for me as it will be for the kids, but I believe it's the right thing to do for our budget and the right thing to do for our souls.  There will be less distraction, less inappropriate commercials and a lot more time for each other and for the things of God!

Another thing that will be changing is our phone/internet service.  We found that we were paying a huge amount for this service that we really didn't need.  We will no longer have messaging services, caller ID, call waiting or unlimited long distance.  We will have a regular answering machine and if we're on the phone when someone else calls......they'll hear a BUSY SIGNAL!  We'll have to see how the long distance thing goes...for now.  Two of Dan's siblings as well as my sister, all live far enough away that it requires long distance calls.  In addition, some of my very best friends live out of state.  We will try this for awhile to see how it goes but we may need to be flexible with this as it's important for us to keep in touch with our family and friends.

When I escaped from the hospital on Friday, I came home and found out that my sister was also in the hospital.  She has been having some major health issues for several years.  I am hopeful that they can get to the bottom of all of her pain....both physical and emotional....and have her on the road to healing soon.  She asked me to put her on my prayer list and so, I thought I would ask you...my wonderful online friends, if you would pray for her also.  In addition to my sister, I have another dear friend who is struggling with metastatic breast cancer.  She faces an uphill battle at the moment and she needs some peace about the very serious decisions she is having to make.  All prayers are appreciated!

Blessings to all of you!!

Roberta Ferrari Allen

July 31, 1955 - August 26, 2009

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.

I love you, Robbi. You will always be in my heart.

Prayer Request

Can I please ask you to pray for a very good friend (R.F.A.) who was just diagnosed with ALS.
For several weeks, she has been having problems with her speech and with balance. For a while they though she might have Guillain-Barre Syndrome, but, that was recently ruled out.

At this point I don't know how progressed the disease is or if there is any medication/clinical trials that she might be eligible for. This is going to be an uphill battle for her and since she lives in Arkansas...and I live here in Florida..about the only thing I can do is to pray.

Will you please join me in praying for the complete restoration of her health or at least that the deterioration process can be slowed.

I've finally decided.....

.....to go with this blog background. It took me several hours to come to a conclusion on which one I really wanted. I want to thank Carrie, Aussie Therese and Judy for their suggestion of taking a look at The Cutest Blog on the Block!!! They have some really nice selections and I think I'm happy with what I've chosen for now. I have found that I really like to change colors and styles with the seasons.

Wednesday was my first day back to work since my surgery in February. Except for the hot flashes, I'm really doing well. For the most part, my strength is back and my energy level is getting better. My desk looked like a tornado hit it. Apparently, they were saving things for me and just kept stacking it on my desk. By this morning, I had 9 audits on my desk to handle!

My very good friend Kathy was visiting this week from California! We were blessed to be able to spend time with her for Easter week. I'm sad to say, she left this morning. I will miss her dearly. I thought I would share a picture that we took as we celebrated her birthday while she was here.....the kids love their "Aunt Kathy".

Thank you!!

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and your prayers on my last post! You all mean so very much to me. The rollercoaster of life is so much more tolerable with people who share the love of God and intercede for one another! I know that this is what He intends for this Body of Christ! Please know that you and your families are also being remembered in my prayers!

Other than deep gratitude to my blog friends...I'm not feeling very inspired today. I guess it's just one of those days where words don't come easily. Tonight, I'm just going to snuggle in my chair with my girls and watch a movie with my family.....and we're going to try to pretend it isn't almost 80 degrees outside!!

Oh....one more thing...I'd like to refer you over to Inside Catholic for Danielle Bean's new column called A Simple Little Christmas! It's a great way to close this 19th day of December!!

Half done!!

Well, I've made it through my second chemo treatment today. Thankfully, that's two down and two to go! To think that I'm half done makes me feel slightly guilty...like some how I've gotten away with something (only 4 treatments) that a lot of breast cancer patients don't.

Anyway, today I'm going to be selfish and just be glad that I'm 50% done! The treatment itself was again uneventful. I tried to read some but I slept most of the time. I haven't been sleeping due to a decent level of anxiety and I think it finally caught up with me today. I really couldn't go anywhere while all hooked up to my special cocktail...so, I was forced to relax and stay put.

It seemed like it went faster this time but that could just be my imagination. I drank ice water and some snacks that they offered. Since being home, I've checked and sent some email, did the dishes, fed the kids, did the dishes again, celebrated Olivia's birthday again with some left over cake, did the dishes again, gave the girls a bath, helped Nathan with his homework and....now, I'm finally sitting on my behind relaxing. The only side effect tonight is nasty indigestion but I've been told that I can double up on my reflux medicine during this week after chemo. My legs are starting to feel alittle heavy. I remember this from last time. I get my Neulasta shot tomorrow. So far, I'm planning to go to work as long as I feel ok. If I'm the slightest bit nauseous or if I'm feeling too tired...I'm staying home.

***I just wanted to say thank you again to all of my family and friends, blog followers (and those that end up here accidentally) for all of your prayers and support. I'm not sure I could get through all of this without you. As a matter of fact, I know I couldn't. I think I must have done something right at some point in my life to deserve all of the blessings that God has given me in the form of "cancer". Some times I feel like I'm on "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" and other times I feel that "peace that passes all understanding". God knows what I need when I need it and He has been so gracious to supply it...through doctors and nurses, other hospital personnel and through all of you. Thank you again and please know that you are all remembered in my prayers as well***

0 for 37!!

There is good news to report today! Here is what the pathology report states (emphasis mine):

Left breast with axillary contents, Radical Mastectomy:

Invasive moderately differentiated adenocarcinoma, ductal type, 3.0 x 2.7 x 2.7 cm.

Associated moderately differentiated ductal carcinoma in situ is present.

No vascular invasion is identified.

Thirty-seven lymph nodes negative for tumor.

Negative surgical margins.

Nipple, no significant pathologic abnormality is identified.

This is most definitely an answer to prayer! I didn't even realize how so very worried I was until I was able to read the report. I could physically feel a weight being lifted from my shoulders and it was like I could instantly breathe easier.

I don't know what this will mean as far as treatment goes, but, I know that I will face it with more hope than before. These past few days have been very hard for me....both emotionally and physically. I want to be back to "normal" but I now have to consider what my new "normal" will be. Today, I am still very sore. My arm is sore all the way down including my forearm. The surgical tape is beginning to peel away and causing some burning and itching. Whenever I stand up (or sit down) or move around in any way, the muscles in my left chest and underarm area begin to pull and stretch! This causes great pain! Sometimes, it brings tears to my eyes. For the first few days, much of my upper left torso was numb. This was because of anesthesia and the fact that they severed many tiny nerves. The numbness is beginning to recede and thereby allowing me to feel more of the pain. I know this is normal but, it makes the reality of what has just happened inescapable. I thought I might be able to hide under the covers or hide behind pain medication for a couple of weeks and then be back in the normal swing of things. Apparently, that's not going to happen any time soon.

Peggy, who is one of the breast care coordinators that has been helping me through this, said that with this journey I will have times when it is one step forward and two steps back. She was right. I don't know if any of you are familiar with the game Chutes and Ladders (I've played endless games with my kids) but I feel like lately my life is a lot like that game. If you've played it...you'll know what I mean.

I made a point to get up, get dressed and go to mass as a family this morning. I purposely didn't take a pain pill because I didn't want to be loopy at church. Although it made sitting in the pew more painful...I felt surrounded by family and friends and I was strengthened. I didn't feel self conscious about my chest being flat on one side. I felt loved and supported. I am still overwhelmed by the love and care that our family has been shown through this time. A dear friend likened it to those Verizon commercials....you know the ones...where the whole Verizon team follows behind the customer. This is EXACTLY how I feel!! You guys are the BEST team I could ever have! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!