Friday, October 10, 2008

Losing my hair! will happen this weekend. I'm going to have Dan shave my head. I'm not sure I have any other option. It's literally coming out in clumps....and it's grossing me out! If there was some way to only let the gray ones come out...I'd go for that! It's strange to think that soon, I'll be totally bald. WOW! I knew it was coming but the reality of it is slightly harder to handle. I've been very sad these past few days. Not really "weepy" sad, just "depressed" sad. I suppose it's just another stage of this whole cancer journey.

I had the port study today. They injected some contrast material under xray into the port to make sure that it was infusing properly. It is. However, even the radiologist could not get any blood return. He said that there could be some scar tissue that has grown around the catheter itself and this would require a "stripping" procedure to remove it. Frankly, if all they can do is infuse the chemo...I'm good with that. He left it up to the oncologist and I to discuss together.

In the meantime, I have to go back Thursday morning for him to do the contrast procedure again so they can give the next chemo treatment. Next week at this time, I'll be 50% done!!

As Dan left for work tonight, the sky turned dark and the rain began to come in sheets! I haven't seen it rain that hard in a long time. Olivia was sitting on the back of the couch watching it rain when she suddenly screamed...."I see all the colors of the rainbow Mom!" Sure enough, when I looked outside the window, we saw this:

Through it all, God is still reminding me of His promise that He made to Noah all those years ago...and what He means for me today....that through my storm clouds of cancer, chemotherapy, hairloss, depression and everything else that a fallen world can send my way....He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me. John 16:33 says it all for me..

"These things I have spoken to you so that in me you may have peace. For in this world you will have trouble, but be encouraged, for I have overcome the world."

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