Sunday, October 12, 2008

My first day out!

Well, today was the day that I had to go out in public with no hair for the very first time. While getting ready for church, I was mulling over whether or not to wear my wig or a hat. I tried them both on...and decided on the hat. The wig is very itchy! I'm not sure how people wear these everyday. I only had it on for about 10 minutes and I was ready to throw it across the room. The hat was much more comfortable and not itchy at all. Everyone said it looked fine....I mean...what else are they going to say? I thought I looked like Boy George without the hair and make up. Yes, I suppose I am dating myself with that comment. For those of you who don't know who Boy George is.....don't wouldn't believe it!

Last night, Dan decided to join me in my baldness and he shaved his head too. He still looks just as handsome as always. He is such a good husband. God has richly blessed me with a man who loves God, loves me and his children and always puts others first. I could not imagine going through this without him.

Three days until my next treatment! I find myself getting more and more anxious. I tolerated the first treatment pretty well and I guess I feel like I couldn't possibly get away with tolerating it well two times in a row. I'm not normally a superstitious person, however, I'm looking for some solid wood to knock on right now!

I had a call today from a very special friend in California. She was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 30 years ago. She had a radical mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation. I felt encouraged just talking to her. She knows what it's like to go through all of this. She knows the fear of having yearly tests...always wondering if "it's" back. She really knows how I feel. I am so thankful for her and others who have given me so much support. Even though this new "club" that I'm in is huge...and growing larger each day.....sometimes, it can be very isolating. I just want to be normal again. Part of me wants things back to the way they were before my diagnosis. Right now, breast cancer is consuming my life and I'm so tired of thinking about it, of talking about it. I think I need a vacation...from reality.....not forever...just for a short time.
I think I need a trip to the bookstore. Finding a good mystery or romance that can take me away for just a few minutes each day...that'll do it. I come!!!


Frizzy and Bird said...

You are so brave! I know you looked fabulous in your hat. Sorry to hear the wig itches. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to minimize this issue? Gotta be a secret somewhere. I hope you can find that vacation you need even if only for an hour or so. I felt this way when I was consumed with trying to have a baby. All I wanted was to forget that I was unable to have a child even if only for a second. Don't get me wrong. I know cancer and infertility are 2 very different diagnoses. I would not claim to know how you feel with your diagnosis of cancer. I am only referring to feeling totally consumed by your "reality" of life. Hang in there! Thanks for adding yourself to my blog. I am so glad to meet you and read about you. You'll be in my prayers.

Laura said...

I will remember you in prayer.
God bless you.

Tracy said...

You'll be in my prayers.. thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us:)