Surgery messes you up! I can't seem to get a handle on my days. I'm not really sure what day of the week it is...or what time of day it is. Everything just runs together in this endless stream of rest, pain medicine and navigating our house....hunched over. I can almost stand completely straight! I will go to the doctor's office tomorrow to have my staples removed.
I'm having some temperature issues...first I'm burning up and then I'm freezing. I'm not sure how long your body takes to get used to not having ovaries, but I wonder if the heat and sweating are related? Who knows! At this point, I'm just trying to go with the flow.
I just realized that Lent starts this week! Boy, where have I been? I am usually much more prepared for such a major liturgical season. Spiritually, I feel like I'm already experiencing Lent. I'm in a vast desert now, trying to feel my way around. I think it would be appropriate to say that part of me is dead. I am a caterpillar that has enveloped herself in the shell of a chrysalis...waiting to be born anew. Waiting for my wings.
I know that my female parts did not make up the whole of the woman that God made me to be.
But, I was not yet ready to let them go. And so, I mourn. I hurt. But I know that the butterfly awaits the hand of God. I will be patient and wait.
I'm changing the look of my blog for Lent...a few days early just in case by Wednesday, I've totally forgotten what month I'm in.
In this desert, I will pray. I will pray for all of you...and for myself. I know that many of you take blogging breaks during Lent...I respect that and will pray for your spiritual renewal. I, however, need to feel my way through Lent this year...a little differently than in years past.
Just in case you were all thinking that I'm speaking to you from a drug induced stupor.....not this time! I haven't taken anything stronger than ibuprofen in about 36 hours! I'm off the hard stuff!
I look forward to the Spring!