Several weeks ago, I posted about my confusion over where this blog was going and whether or not I even wanted to continue blogging. To be honest, blogging has lost some of it's appeal. I used to be excited about sharing my life and musings with my online friends. Lately, it's seemed like a chore....one that I do anything and everything to avoid. Every now and then I'd think of something that would be good to create a post about...and then I think, "Nah....".
This week, while reading some of my favorite blogs (I'm still excited about reading other people's blogs!!), I realized that there are changes all around. For instance, Rachel Balducci from Testosterhome recently wrote about how the focus of her blog may be changing....she called it, "A New Blogging Chapter". Similarly, my very good friend Judy (Benmakesten) mentioned in a recent blog post about her primary reason for blogging. She put it like this, "I intend to keep this blog as a place that uplifts, encourages, and supports a
family life theme and provides a place for people to come and enjoy some light
reading, online; as well as get to know my own family and catch a glimpse of our
adventures, challenges, and blessings in our homeschooling lifestyle." I must tell you, that's exactly what Judy's blog does....uplifts, encourages and supports! Another blogger that does that is Dawn from By Sun and Candlelight. She always shares the loveliest things! It's just a pleasure to visit her blog. There's never any drama or negativity the way there is here. Sigh.
I had never really thought of my blog in those terms before. I considered it mostly just a journal or diary of my own feelings and experiences. Honestly, it never really occurred to me whether or not someone might be angry, disturbed or hurt by something I'd written. I've always had that egotistical attitude that if they didn't like something about me or my blog, then nothing was forcing them to read it! After all, I certainly don't force anyone to come here.
As I've contemplated this whole subject over the last few days, I've come to realize that maybe blogging isn't fun anymore because this has become a negative place, even for me. Actually, I've come to quite a few realizations and I wanted to share them with you. This is what I've been thinking about in relation to my blog and what I want it to be....
Things I Am Not
I am not an artist or photographer. With that in mind, my blog will not be a place for abstract thoughts and pictures. Heck, I don't even have a camera right now. The only thing I have is my phone...and it doesn't have a flash. If the truth be told...I haven't the foggiest idea how to get the pictures off of my smart phone and onto my computer...except for emailing them to myself and that takes SO.DARN.LONG, that I've totally given up posting pictures!
I am not a poet or a professional writer. This means that whatever I write here may not be grammatically correct, may not be spelled correctly, or may not even make any sense to anyone but me.
I am not perfect, or even close. Were you ever in any doubt?
I am not an encyclopedia. I have a very limited knowledge of things. Translate that to, I know a little bit about this and that and a lot about nothing! I am also not very inclined to do tons of research before I post about something.
I am not creative or crafty. Most of the things that make some people think I am, are really just ideas I've hijacked from somewhere else and tweaked slightly to fit my needs. I'm not sure an original idea has ever come from my brain.
Things I Am
I am passionate about a lot of things. You can be assured that there are many topics that interest me that I can (and probably should) share on this blog. I love sharing about my favorite things...like my kids, my faith and homeschooling. My problem, I think, comes from having a hard time piecing everything together to make a coherent post.
I am a survivor. Of breast cancer, of parenthood, of depression/panic disorders, of my own self loathing.....and a Democrat in the White House.
I am part of an online community that I wouldn't give up for anything. ANYTHING! I have grown so much over the last several years because of this blogging community. It truly feels like family to me. I could never stop cold turkey.
I am eager to get back into it. I want to blog regularly. It helps me to express myself in ways that I just can't verbally. I feel like I can be more honest and heartfelt when I share in my "diary". I feel like I need to reconnect with my family on a more regular basis.
I am ready to make time. Sometimes it's just very time consuming to post on a regular basis. By the time I've come home from work, helped with homework, prepared dinner, checked email and checked Facebook....I'm falling asleep. As a matter of fact, the other night, I woke up at about 4am with my laptop still on my lap. I think I'm ready to make a commitment to blogging.
So, what does all this actually mean for my blog? We shall see. I want my blog to be uplifting, supportive and encouraging, no matter what I'm blogging about (just like Judy!) To do that and still be honest and open, is an enormous feat. I want my posts to be heartfelt and well thought out. I want to have a purpose for this blog.
I'm not exactly sure how to accomplish all of this...nor even where to start. However, there will be changes. You can count on it. In the meantime, please share any ideas or comments that you might have with me. I appreciate feedback and interaction with all of you.
I want this to be a place you look forward to coming to and one that when you leave, you're glad that you visited. That's all, no more, no less. I can hardly to wait to see where we end up!
See you soon!