Saturday, April 14, 2012

Changes

Several weeks ago, I posted about my confusion over where this blog was going and whether or not I even wanted to continue blogging.  To be honest, blogging has lost some of it's appeal.  I used to be excited about sharing my life and musings with my online friends.  Lately, it's seemed like a chore....one that I do anything and everything to avoid.  Every now and then I'd think of something that would be good to create a post about...and then I think, "Nah....".

This week, while reading some of my favorite blogs (I'm still excited about reading other people's blogs!!), I realized that there are changes all around.  For instance, Rachel Balducci from Testosterhome recently wrote about how the focus of her blog may be changing....she called it, "A New Blogging Chapter".  Similarly, my very good friend Judy (Benmakesten) mentioned in a recent blog post about her primary reason for blogging.  She put it like this, "I intend to keep this blog as a place that uplifts, encourages, and supports a family life theme and provides a place for people to come and enjoy some light reading, online; as well as get to know my own family and catch a glimpse of our adventures, challenges, and blessings in our homeschooling lifestyle."  I must tell you, that's exactly what Judy's blog does....uplifts, encourages and supports!  Another blogger that does that is Dawn from By Sun and Candlelight.  She always shares the loveliest things!  It's just a pleasure to visit her blog.  There's never any drama or negativity the way there is here.  Sigh.

I had never really thought of my blog in those terms before.  I considered it mostly just a journal or diary of my own feelings and experiences.  Honestly, it never really occurred to me whether or not someone might be angry, disturbed or hurt by something I'd written.  I've always had that egotistical attitude that if they didn't like something about me or my blog, then nothing was forcing them to read it!  After all, I certainly don't force anyone to come here.

As I've contemplated this whole subject over the last few days, I've come to realize that maybe blogging isn't fun anymore because this has become a negative place, even for me.  Actually, I've come to quite a few realizations and I wanted to share them with you.  This is what I've been thinking about in relation to my blog and what I want it to be....

Things I Am Not

I am not an artist or photographer.  With that in mind, my blog will not be a place for abstract thoughts and pictures.  Heck, I don't even have a camera right now.  The only thing I have is my phone...and it doesn't have a flash.  If the truth be told...I haven't the foggiest idea how to get the pictures off of my smart phone and onto my computer...except for emailing them to myself and that takes SO.DARN.LONG, that I've totally given up posting pictures!

I am not a poet or a professional writer.  This means that whatever I write here may not be grammatically correct, may not be spelled correctly, or may not even make any sense to anyone but me.

I am not perfect, or even close.  Were you ever in any doubt?

I am not an encyclopedia.  I have a very limited knowledge of things.  Translate that to, I know a little bit about this and that and a lot about nothing!  I am also not very inclined to do tons of research before I post about something.

I am not creative or crafty.  Most of the things that make some people think I am, are really just ideas I've hijacked from somewhere else and tweaked slightly to fit my needs.  I'm not sure an original idea has ever come from my brain.

Things I Am

I am passionate about a lot of things.  You can be assured that there are many topics that interest me that I can (and probably should) share on this blog.  I love sharing about my favorite things...like my kids, my faith and homeschooling.  My problem, I think, comes from having a hard time piecing everything together to make a coherent post.

I am a survivor.  Of breast cancer, of parenthood, of depression/panic disorders, of my own self loathing.....and a Democrat in the White House.

I am part of an online community that I wouldn't give up for anything.  ANYTHING!  I have grown so much over the last several years because of this blogging community.  It truly feels like family to me.  I could never stop cold turkey.

I am eager to get back into it.  I want to blog regularly.  It helps me to express myself in ways that I just can't verbally.  I feel like I can be more honest and heartfelt when I share in my "diary".  I feel like I need to reconnect with my family on a more regular basis.

I am ready to make time.  Sometimes it's just very time consuming to post on a regular basis.  By the time I've come home from work, helped with homework, prepared dinner, checked email and checked Facebook....I'm falling asleep.  As a matter of fact, the other night, I woke up at about 4am with my laptop still on my lap.  I think I'm ready to make a commitment to blogging.

So, what does all this actually mean for my blog?  We shall see.  I want my blog to be uplifting, supportive and encouraging, no matter what I'm blogging about (just like Judy!)  To do that and still be honest and open, is an enormous feat.  I want my posts to be heartfelt and well thought out.  I want to have a purpose for this blog.

I'm not exactly sure how to accomplish all of this...nor even where to start.  However, there will be changes.  You can count on it.  In the meantime, please share any ideas or comments that you might have with me.  I appreciate feedback and interaction with all of you.

I want this to be a place you look forward to coming to and one that when you leave, you're glad that you visited.  That's all, no more, no less.  I can hardly to wait to see where we end up!

See you soon!







6 comments:

Mary Pauline said...

No matter what changes you make, I will still come and read your blog. I love your honesty and humanity. I love how real you are. I love your blog. Kept it up! XOXOXO

Michelle said...

I'm looking forward to the new direction! I've meandered a bit on my own blog, influenced by the pretty, professional-quality pictures on others (no fancy camera, though), or the crafty stuff (I can follow a tutorial, but couldn't come up with something on my own to save my life), or the foodie blogs (I like cooking, but it's an accomplishment to find time to actually make dinner and I don't see that easing up anytime soon).

My "frame" has been and will just remain homeschooling. My whole point of starting a blog was to have an online portfolio to eventually fulfill the Florida requirements. I've thrown in family stuff along the way because we don't have any family close by and the blog is an easy way for them to read up on what we're doing and see pictures of the kids.

I can always use some inspiration and I think you can provide plenty. I'm glad you're sticking around!

Colleen said...

I started out blogging to promote my book. Then I realized I loved just sharing my faith with others. I love the blogging community, too.
So I promoted my book .and shared my experience of abuse on my Surviving by Grace blog. And kept my Thoughts on Grace more in line with faith sharing. And then that led to my website on Catholic Prayer. A lot of work a lot of fun.
So just let yours evolve into where you want to be, where you want to focus. Where is your treasure? Where is your heart?
Pray about it. The Holy Spirit will lead you there. Keep writing and see what flows from your heart.
This post was great. Right from your heart. Open. Honest. Loved it.
Hugs and happy Easter!

Nancy said...

Thank you Michelle and Colleen for your kind thoughts and comments. Having you both here means a lot to me! I think the world of you (and your blogs)! <3

KathY said...

Aside from your typically wonderful posts, I have found many to be exceptional and memorable for being - I'm searching for a word here - for being uniquely transporting. They were magical. They took me out of the realm of time. And I know why: you broke through to what is true and alive underneath. (True and alive underneath in you, that is.) That's an idea from a book I'm reading from the 1930s about writing. Below are a few quotes from it, intended to be inspiring!

"[Art and the creative impulse] is a feeling of love and enthusiasm for something, and in a direct, simple, passionate and true way, you share the beauty with others... out of generosity as opposed to show."

(Keeping in mind your blog and your writing are creations, Nancy!)

"Creative power and imagination is in everyone and so is the need to express it, i.e., to share it. But what happens to it? It is usually drummed out of people [beginning] early in life by criticism [in its infinite forms]." (Not just as it relates to writing, but to living and creating in general and being true to self in general.)

"When you get down to the true self and speak from that, there is always a metamorphosis in your writing, a transfiguration." (And, I've found, a metamorphosis and transfiguration in self, too.)

"By writing you will learn more and more to be free, to say all you think; and learn never to lie to yourself, never to pretend and attitudinize, and find your true self. And why find it? Because it is your immortal soul and the life of the spirit, and if we can only free it and respect it and not run it down, and let it move and work, it is the way to be happier and greater... The true self is never a fixed thing... [it is] always in motion like music, a river, changing, moving, failing, suffering, learning, shining.... What is true to you today may not be true at all tomorrow, because you see a better truth."

Perhaps I've gotten carried away here... :/ . As always, lol ! Anyway, I hope there's some little something here that clicks for you, my dear.

With love and sincerely, KathY

Owner of Homeschool Faith and Family Life Website said...

I am SO happy to be part of your blogging community! AND to be your friend! Thanks for sharing such kind words (and links) for my blog.
I really enjoyed your list about what you "are" and "are not". You and I are so similar!
May God bless you as you discern and reassess where you'd like to take "Be Not Afraid" in the future.
I LOVE visiting here...and your sense of humor DELIGHTS my soul! So, please don't think that because you share your heart in a way that you think is "negative" sometimes...that yours is not an enjoyable place to visit...IT IS!
And, there's room for LOTS of emotions in the blogosphere!
I will always enjoy my time spent here on your blog...and I'm glad you enjoy your visits to mine!