Sunday, June 16, 2013

My Dad!

My dad died on Flag Day (June 14th) 1982.....31 years ago!  I was 17 at the time.  A junior in high school.

I remember him like it was yesterday.  Sometimes when I'm in a large crowd, I think I hear his voice.

I used to dream about him a lot, in the early days after his death.  I would usually wake up crying.  Very weird feeling.

He visited me on my wedding day....while I was alone in the bride's room waiting to walk down the aisle.  I was standing there, so nervous I thought I would faint!  The florist had prepared some flowers for my hair, but the piece was too big.  I was standing there wondering what everyone would think because I wasn't wearing a veil or any flowers in my hair.  All of a sudden, I felt a tremendous warmth envelop me.  In an instant, I knew!  My dad was there, in that room, hugging me, loving me, telling me how proud he was of me, telling me he approved of this man I would vow to be with forever.  I knew in the depth of my soul that my dad was with me that day.  I cried.  I talked to him.  I told him I loved him....I thanked him for this gift he was giving me.

I think I might have floated down that aisle!  I've not felt his presence like that since that day, almost 16 years ago. 

I love him and miss him every bit as much now as I did on June 14, 1982.  The pain never leaves you...not really.  You learn to keep it up on a shelf...out of the way.  But it's always there. 

There is a song, by Bread called "Everything I Own".  The emotion that comes when I hear this song is stifling....but I used to pretend that I was singing that song to my dad.  It's funny because, it's my understanding that David Gates actually wrote the song for his father.

You sheltered me from harm.
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, Set me free
The finest years I ever knew
were all the years I had with you

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own,
just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love,
What it's all, what it's all.
You never said too much,
but still you showed the way,
and I knew from watching you.
Nobody else could ever know
the part of me that can't let go.

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

Is there someone you know,
you're loving them so,
but taking them all for granted.
You may lose them one day,
someone takes them away,
and they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.
Just to touch you once again

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!  I love you and miss you so much.  Someday, we will be together again.


Judy Dudich said...

This used to be one of my FAVORITE songs in high school and it always made me think of my brother...who died when I was in 8th grade.

I, too, have had the experience (GIFT/BLESSING) of hearing my Dad's voice...on my birthday...when I woke up... I clearly heard him say, "Happy Birthday, Doodle" and it was SO audible that I replied, "Thanks, Daddy" before I realized what was happening.


I am so glad I stopped in today and found this post.

I TREASURE the card/gift of Mass that YOU gave to me for my Dad when he was in his final days. I look at it, often, and am so grateful for your friendship!

Just Be Real said...

Hugs to you Nancy. A wonderful tribute. Blessings.