In just a few short hours (10am EST), I will take Amelia to her psychiatry appointment. This appointment is specifically to discuss medication. It's funny to me, after all that we've been through, that I'm still hesitant to "do" medication.
Towards the end of this past school year, I was desperate. I was willing to try anything, to do anything that would help her to be able to function at school. In addition to the pressure I felt from the school, I caved. We tried a couple of different meds, but they were not helpful. One was an anti depressant which I was NOT comfortable with. As it turned out, it made her more agitated anyway and so I took her off of it. Her pediatrician agreed.
Although I don't know for sure, I get the feeling that the more traditional meds for ADHD will be on the table today. Even though she does not have ADHD, many of the symptoms are the same. We are most concerned with her impulse control. For the most part, this is the biggest problem facing her in the classroom.
If I were to be honest, I would say that I'm nervous. I'm concerned about what this medicine will do to my daughter's body and how she will react to it. It's one thing to agree to a particular medication when I'm the one that will be ingesting it. It's quite another when it will be my daughter who will be the guinea pig. I even had a dream about it last night.
The only thing that is keeping me from completely freaking out is the fact that most of these meds have been in use for a long time. Instead of giving large doses of a particular med, studies have shown that giving smaller doses of two or more meds are proving more effective and safer. For some reason, it's the combination of some medications that show the most success.
I wish there was some other way. I wish I could just homeschool her. This would save her from having to put these chemicals in her body...and would allow her to work at her own pace. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed.
I ask for your prayers this morning. I know you are pretty "prayed out" with this situation but, I ask you to bring my Amelia to the Throne today. We need to find the right medication with the lowest dose possible to achieve the goal of impulse control for her. Her behavior needs to do a 180 in order for us to have a successful school year. We are also working on behavior modification and she will begin regular therapy in about two weeks. I ask you for your prayers for Dan and I also. We are trying to learn new techniques for parenting but we need to be consistent. It's so easy to undo everything that we have achieved in this area. Nathan and Olivia are also trying to adjust to our new way of living.
Thank you so much.