Today was my second full day home. I must say, recovering at home is much nicer. Don't get me wrong...absolutely ALL of the nurses and techs that took care of me were great! Everyone was really nice and were very attentive to me. Still, being home in your own bed is much better for your health....at least your mental health.
I went to the doctor today in hopes of getting one of my drains out. Unfortunately, he said they both were still draining alittle too much to be taken out yet. I'll go back on Monday afternoon for that. Also, there was not yet a pathology report available so we still don't know exactly what we're dealing with. I was really nervous about hearing those results. Once I realized that I wouldn't have that information today and that they weren't going to take out the drains.....I couldn't help myself but I cried like a baby. The doctor had left so it was just Dan, myself and the breast care coordinator. For whatever reason, I was just overwhelmed. Some of it I know is still fear. I guess fear and I will become close friends over the next few months. But I think it was also...sorrow. I am just so sad right now. Sad that my husband and kids are having to deal with this. Sad that my family and friends are having to band together to help, and sorry that when I look in the mirrow...a piece of me is gone. It's strange, I mean there was no "working my way up" to not having a breast. It was just there one day and then the next.....gone! It's quite startling to look at. This will take some getting used to. I'll get there...I know I will.
In the meantime, I am being cared for by the most loving people. God has so richly blessed me with friends and family that at times I feel like the luckiest person on earth. I got flowers from my sister-in-law today. Cookies from my good friend Mary. Calls and notes from several people. Masses and novenas are being said.....it is incredible. I know there are many people out there who are in more need than I am and so all I can do is humbly thank everyone. Most of you will never know how much I appreciate your prayers and your loving presence in my life.
You will all be in my prayers tonight!!