My attitude has gotten in the way of my updating this blog. The medication that Amelia has been on over the last few days has not shown to be effective, at all. As a matter of fact, I see absolutely no difference in her demeanor or behavior. I'm very discouraged. I guess I expected a miracle.
I've been thinking about this a lot, and I remembered something that happened a few years ago. Amelia had to have some dental work done that required some sedation. They did not want to put her all the way out, so they decided to give her something that might make her feel a little woozy. It didn't work. Neither did the laughing gas. The dentist ended up almost sitting on top of her along with the help of several assistants. Although the medication that she is currently taking is not a sedative (it's actually a stimulant), do you think it could be that she just has a high tolerance for meds? I don't know, I guess I'm grasping at straws here.
I want her to be better. I want her to be able to function normally in this family. I want her to stop being so confrontational, so impulsive, so negative, so combative. I want her to STOP! There is constant conflict between her, Nathan and Olivia. Today, Olivia had a friend over for a play date/sleepover and it's been hell! When she plays with Olivia and her friend, she wants to be in charge of everything. Then, when they get tired of her bossiness and ask to play by themselves, Amelia gets her feelings hurt and cries and carries on in a very dramatic way for hours!
Dan worked all day and so I guess I just feel tired, defeated and disappointed that the meds have not gotten her to slow down...even a little but. Don't get me wrong, I don't want her drugged out, staring into space...but I would like her to be a little bit more introspective and not so touchy.
I feel guilty that I'm basically telling you that I don't like my daughter's personality. She's hard to deal with and today, I'm not feeling up to the task.
OK...my whine fest is over. That is all.