She also told me that the doctor had already faxed over authorization for my new medication on 9/17/12. This would have been great news, except, today is only 9/13/12. She seemed a little miffed that I pointed this out to her. She got flustered and said that she meant to say 9/11/12. This means that it might be next June by the time the authorization is approved. In the mean time, I will continue to take the Arimidex.
Someone will be calling me soon to schedule the scan. My stomach is in knots! I've started to eat carbs again, emotional eater that I am! I know that worrying will not add one single day to my life, and yet, I'm worried. As usual, I'm thinking the worst. What if it's cancer in my liver? I need my liver....can't live without one! I didn't need two breasts! Technically, I don't even need one! However, I would really like to hang on to my liver, thank you very much!
Emotionally, I don't think I'm strong enough to go through this again. Seriously. It was all I could do to keep it together dealing with breast cancer. How am I supposed to keep it together with liver cancer? And if it isn't cancer, what is it? Something is making those lab results all wonky.
This is my own, personal, living purgatory.
Remember, most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence I fly unto you dear Virgin of Virgins, my mother; to you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.